''What is Madonna''s problem?'' laughs Dawn French of French & Saunders (and Vicar of Dibley and Harry Potter) about Madonna never agreeing to go on their show...

She goes on to say that the longer Madonna leaves it, the ruder they have to be about her (remember the Truth or Dare parody, where they BOTH played Madonna?) and ends up calling her a ''tart'' for doing stuff with Ricky Gervais and not F&S. Very funny. And they obviously LOVE Madonna!
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But you’ve never got your hands on Madonna…
What is it with Madonna? What is her problem? We’ve asked her over a thousand times. We started asking her at the very beginning and it is very foolish of her not to come on because if she doesn’t come on we have to tell jokes about her. And we can’t understand that the more vicious - not vicious, the more intrepid our jokes are… you think, ‘Why isn’t she coming on?’ and Jennifer says, ‘Why don’t you think about the jokes we did about her last time?’ She’s sent us an e-mail and we got a fax from her and we’ve had little messages from people saying she likes us a lot and would like to but she hasn’t been able to. One time we got really close and then she had to go to LA. Could have been true. Who knows? I think she’s afraid of the awesome talent she’d have to rub up against. I think she’s a bit of a tart, because she has now shown her full affection to Ricky Gervais for no other reason, I suspect, than that he was the fashionable thing. And I think she should just look at who’s got the longevity and consider how much further her career might have got had she bothered to turn up. It’s been over a hundred years, since the Boer War, that we’ve been going. I can’t believe it. The fool!

Source: Drowned Madonna